In Heaven There Is No Butter

October 16, 2012

in Baby Evelyn, Family & Friends, Kids

Fall! My favorite time of year.

My, have things ever been crazy of late – I believe the seasons turned since my last update! Here’s a list of all of the exciting obstacles projects I had to overcome attend to in the past two weeks:

1. My baby got baptized at the ripe age of 9 months, and we had a party. A party at our house means a pretty big effort because I am:

- Moderately antisocial

- No Martha Stewart

- Have very limited party space

- Have a big extended family, which means that invitingĀ our immediate circle of locally-residing relatives translates into at least a dozen guests.

- Have control issues, which means that I prefer to prepare most of the feast myself, at a relatively advanced level, and entirely from scratch, aided by the fact that I have a food snob blogger reputation to uphold.

As a result, I ended up making the bread, three quiches, roasted delicata squash, a quart of vanilla ice-cream, and the salad dressing for the salad my mother-in-law brought, as well as baking a three-layer chocolate cake with the French buttercream frosting that involved freshly-brewed espresso, reducing a sugar syrup to the soft-ball stage, and the painstaking application with two different kinds of icing spatulas and lots of swearwords.

Nothing says “welcome to the community of saints” like butter.

Here’s what it ended up looking like:

Welcome to the community of saints, my child.

Because of the combination of black cake and white frosting, my husband christened my creation “the whited sepulcher.” Pun intended.


Also, did you know? Bakeware makes the happiest babies.

2. Among other things, last week was marked by my cooking some 15 quarts of cream-of-potato soup and baking four big loaves of bread for an informational luncheon at my girl’s school. Luckily, all of the potatoes and onions that went in the soup were grown by my husband in our garden, which meant virtually no ingredient cost.

Nothing like investing in my children’s future on the cheap!

I also tried to serve as the event’s semi-official photographer. Granted, my enthusiasm surpasses my skill level, but that’s a separate question.

3. Within the aforementioned time period, I finally managed to catch up on 100 years of laundry, discovering in the process that:

- My husband owns many more intact T-shirts than previously thought.

- Some of the clothes were no longer seasonally-appropriate.

- Some of the clothes no longer fit my children.

Don’t be like me.

On a bright side, full laundry baskets make one heck of a foot stool.

4. To add (in a good way) to my busy social calendar, I recently attended a heart-warming and endlessly entertaining reading and book signing by a Wisconsin writer Michael Perry, whose New York Times bestseller Visiting Tom just hit store shelves. Hilarious, touching, and incredibly close-to-home all at once, his mix of personal anecdotes and passages from the newest book drew endless bursts of laughter from the crowd of fans who packed one of the venues in our town.

Because I couldn’t help myself, I brought Mr. Perry a small jar of chocolate chip cookies.

By the way, I’d never had a book inscribed by the author before, and thought this was really special. Mine reads: “Thanks for the cookies.”

5. No busy couple of weeks would be complete without kids getting sick, and mine was no exception after my daugther brought stomach flu from school and gave it to her little brother. My girl has since recovered, but my little guy currently needs some tender loving care. I plan to be back to my usual posting once that’s behind us.

Truth be told, blogging of any quality takes quite a bit of time. Which brings me to my final point:

This Russian-language meme has popped in my Facebook feed, and here’s what it says:

“People always ask me: ‘How do you find the time for everything? What’s your secret?’

My secret is simple – I don’t accomplish shit.”


1 Jennifer Brinkman October 19, 2012 at 8:34 am

This post made me smile as I sit here with my cup of coffee, on my laptop, avoiding the piles of laundry that my family has made **sigh** If you can do it, so can I ;) Thanks for the enjoyable read :)

2 Andrea October 24, 2012 at 11:02 pm

I love you, as you affirmed that I am not absolutely bonkers in what I feel are appropriate standards for food for family get togethers, etc. We are normal. And I believe that meme sums up my life perfectly! No one else around here would understand the Russian characters so I am free to put that one on my fridge! Thank you!

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